My doctor walked in the room and said *Oh you came alone today and that was all she had to say. As she spoke I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I could hear this person talking to me saying things like cancer, surgery, mastectomy and chemotherapy, I felt like I would faint. I left the office, called my sisters and asked them to drive to my Mothers to tell her as I feared what the news might do to her and I did not want her to be alone. They scheduled me for a mastectomy the following week.

How could this be happening!! I was 32 years old, had a great job as General Manager of a Media Company, did some modelling on the side, jogged everyday to keep my slender figure and spent one hell of a lot of money on my long hair to get that beautiful Natural look. The hair that I spent close to $150.00 a month on that would soon lay in a pool of water in the drain in my shower.

After my surgery I was sent home with one breast, drains coming out of me where my breast once sat and a prescription to prevent infection. What about a prescription for sanity!!!! I lay for about a month in the fetal position asking the unanswerable question WHY ME!!! I was convinced I was going to die. I could not sleep and would call my mother, a friend or pretty much anyone I could find at 3 am in the morning in tears.

I remember one evening going to my closet and dresser, then proceeded to throw out every stick of clothing I had that showed any kind of femininity. All my bikinis, my sexy dresses, low cut shirts...... one by one tossed away like my breast. Why did I need these? I was never going to be sexy again. I had one breast and cancer.


Posted by: Jesmi24    Source

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